This Week’s Topic: Workplace Romance
Have you or someone you know been involved in a workplace romance? According to a 2005 survey conducted by Vault, 58% of employees admitted to having been involved in an office romance.
It is not surprising that office romances occur. People work closely together on projects, share common goals and spend long periods of time together. Isn’t it only natural that they would bond and forge relationships? What starts out as a friendship innocently changes into something more as two people get to know each other. You share a couple of lunches and a few laughs and the next thing you know…..BOOM….sparks fly and cupid strikes!
Now as long as the wine is flowing and roses are in bloom there is no problem. However, what happens when the wheels come off and the romance becomes a train wreck? Now the loving couple can’t stand the sight of each other, which makes for some serious disruption in productivity if they are professionally connected on a project. A situation like this could make for a mighty unpleasant working environment for the innocent bystanders who often need to work with both people and are then in the uncomfortable position of possibly taking sides or acting a mediators.
Let’s take a look at the ramifications for the dumper and the dumpee (for the sake of argument we will assume it wasn’t mutual). The dumper, if in the position of authority has left him or herself wide open for a whopping harassment charge. The dumpee must face his/her heartbreak every day. Stalking….slander…..physical confrontations…anything is possible. I once read an article about a woman who brought all of her co-working ex’s toiletries into work and threw them on his desk….including his medication for ED (erectile dysfunction).
A long time ago, my first mentor offered me the sage advice that it is best to avoid finding love in the workplace and surprisingly, this is one relationship mistake I did manage to avoid. I have seen romance in the workplace work. I have several colleagues who met at work and are happily married today. However, I wonder if that is the norm.
What are your experiences? Do you have a story to share? What lessons have you learned through your experience or the experience of others?
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August 2, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I am now married to the man that used to be my boss. Now, we were not involved romantically at that time BUT we were always really in sync and worked great together. After he left the company, he divorced and later we started dating. After 2 years of dating we got married and we just celebrated 3 years of happy marriage. We worked great together, we play great together and we have a great life together!
August 2, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Debbie,
It is nice to hear a positive story. Much of what I read while preparing the post was pretty negative. Good for you and congratulations! What advice would you give to someone else in your position?
August 2, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Someone close to me is involved in this exact situation and to make matters worse she is in the position of authority. Things are already starting to go sour. He now feels that he can come to work late and come and go as he pleases. What can she do to protect herself?
August 2, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Kandice…good question. I know I don’t have an answer. Maybe someone who reads this post will have more experience in this area and be willing to share their thoughts and suggestions. What you are describing is one of the problems I read about as I was gathering info. for this post. One of the biggest problems is when it goes sour. Check back to see what turns up.
August 3, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I’ve never actually dated anyone I worked with, although years ago, I had a brief fling with someone after I left the station where we both worked (He still works there by the way). He became a really good friend and business connection.
August 15, 2008 at 9:03 am
Your blog is interesting!
Keep up the good work!